Most people have heard about an identity crisis and might even say they’re going through it. Others say someone is having an identity crisis when they do things that are not aligned with what society thinks they should do at a certain age. It seems like someone is lost and is trying to get themselves back to a familiar place.
There is no knowing when an identity crisis will end. It’s possible that you might have this feeling of discontent for a long time. What if instead of giving way to a crisis, you work on building an identity capital?
Know What You Want to Do
It almost seems impossible to avoid having an identity crisis when you live an aimless life. It doesn’t matter if you have to start over in your late thirties or you have to get moving quotes to see if your dream of moving to a different state is viable. Forget about age and stop thinking of it as a restriction. It is never too late for you to work towards something you want. Banish thoughts of regret associated with all the years you spent in a job you hate. It will not help you find your identity. To build an identity capital, ask yourself what you really want to do, and just do it.
Do Things with a Purpose
Humans are known procrastinators. We do random things, avoid life-defining decisions, and live an “okay” life because it’s a way of telling people we can accept not getting what we want. This doesn’t lead to happiness, and when you are unhappy, you don’t feel fulfilled. This is when an identity crisis creeps up on you. When you do things with a purpose, you know that each task contributes to your happiness and gives meaning to your life. Your life might not be perfect, but you can measure how far you are to your goal because you have never forgotten it.
This is the first thing you should do to build your identity capital: determine your goals. Do you want a successful career? Start building your contacts. A family in the suburbs? Improve your relationships and talk to your partner about settling down. Starting your own business? Know your options and improve your entrepreneurial skills.
Change Your Approach, Not Your Dream
It is easy to give up halfway when you think you are far from realizing your dreams. However, this should not be your first reaction when your approach doesn’t work. If you really want something, come up with several ways to get it. Your goal should not change even if you have to rethink the way you get there. Think of how much time you’re wasting by quitting halfway, finding a new dream, then quitting again. You only have one life, and most of it you have no success to show for your hard work. It’s like staying in the same position for the rest of your life because you’re crippled by failure and you don’t push yourself for a promotion. You get paid, you get by, but you are not proud of where you are.
There’s no dream big enough for you to achieve. Instead of giving way to an identity crisis, start building your identity capital to know just how far you can go.