Perfectionists feel more frustrated than other people because everything must be flawless and perfect. They pay attention to details, have a mania for things to be organized, responsibility, and extreme dedication to tasks. The purpose here is to eliminate or improve, or at least decrease or decrease a little. You can not live happily and in peace, if your spirit level is too high.
Let’s look at 5 simple steps to help you overcome perfectionism.
1. Play “Not Being Perfect”
It is an interesting and fun exercise. It is not necessary to change your “way of being”. But to do some tasks that are not so important in a more relaxed way, without so much perfectionism.
For example, the relationship of women with makeup. Many women are unable to leave the house if they have not impeccably put on: make-up, eyeliner, and mascara in their eyes and lipstick to highlight their lips. Without this makeup routine, they don’t feel well. Exercise can be removing some of that makeup for a day. How about, just for today not using eyeliner on your eyes? What can happen? We don’t have to worry so much about appearance; people who love us accept us with or without makeup. Those who do not accept and criticize us must stay away from our life anyway.
Although you think you need to look good to be valued, in reality, you are the one who doesn’t approve. People value us for who we are; the problem is with you and not with others. If you embrace yourself, then others will embrace you as well. Each must investigate what aspects of his/her life are acting with perfectionism and changing behavior.
2. Release Errors and Imperfections
When they make mistakes, perfectionists are brooding over thoughts. They do not accept the error and keep thinking that they could have done better. In many situations, we can’t go back, so forget it and move on. Remember that the mistake is part of the past. There is no point in suffering for it; nothing is going to change. Realize that, thanks to this mistake, you will do better next time.
3. Change the Focus
Usually, the perfectionist focuses on defects and how to improve. Switch the focus from “improve and change” to “feel and enjoy”. Feelings and emotions are more important than the quest for perfection.
4. See the Whole and Not the Details
Perfectionists are very detailed. This makes them always see the defects because perfection does not exist. If we stop to look closely, we will always find something wrong. Learn to see the whole thing; it will help to eradicate perfectionism.
How can we look at things in general? Look at the main content and not the details. For example, imagine a painting exhibition. The ideal is to appreciate the artwork as a whole, look at the image from an appropriate distance, and appreciate the content of the painting. In this situation, a perfectionist wants to look and see the details of the work. Details like excess paint, some imperfection in the frame, etc. Nothing escapes your critical eye. In this way, the most important thing is lost: enjoying the work as a whole and understanding the artist’s message.
5. Overcome “Us” Every Day
When it comes to overcoming, many people think about overcoming others, that is, being better than others, or the best of all, which in fact can bring great frustrations, because the one who seeks to be better than others will be always making comparisons and competitions. Overcoming is much more efficient when it is addressed solely and exclusively to one person: yourself. That is, when we try to overcome our own weaknesses and improve on some points that need adjustments, or when we try to progress without measuring parameters with others, respecting our time and our limits, we will certainly have much more success than if we spend our lives trying to stand above others.
Perfectionists are always dissatisfied and enjoy life very little. Your negative emotional state does not allow you to look at the essentials. The happiest people are not perfectionists. They know that nothing is perfect and that we are here to enjoy and learn new things. We are not perfect machines but evolving human beings.