Adoption in general has always been related to owning a human child but lately, the definition has evolved. People now adopt trees, villages, animals, and more to save, and help them grow. This time a couple who are in their 90s have gone a step beyond and have adopted trans partners.
Shamsher (93) and her husband, Advocate Darbara Singh Chahal (95) who lives in Sector 30 of Chandigarh have given a forever home and family to Dhananjay Chauhan, a trans woman, and activist, and her partner Rudra Pratap Singh, a trans man.
“We couldn’t have been more grateful but it doesn’t really feel like we have been adopted. We are very close. One day, it was way past midnight, and they kept waiting for us to return home. This has brought us even more together and now we have our food and spend all our happy and sad moments with each other. On top of all, I am even connected with their daughters, and their kids call me ‘Maasi’,” said an emotional and elated Dhananjay to Life Beyond Numbers.
The trans partners earlier used to live in slums. Life was hard. When she narrated her life’s tale to her old Kathak teacher Samira Kosar (earlier Samira Chahal), it was no one else than the two Chahal daughters including America-based gynecologist Dr. Mamta Chahal, who motivated their parents to adopt.
“We used to live in a slum. In lockdown, things were even worse. That is when I reconnected with my old Kathak teacher, Samira Kosar didi. She used to teach me Kathak when I was a boy. At first, she couldn’t recognize me, but then she realized I was her former student after hearing my story. Later on, she invited me home. There she shared my life’s story with her parents. It was Samira didi and her sister Mamta, who lives in the US that inspired their parents to adopt us. Everything kept falling into place, and here we are, living with our parents” added Dhananjay.
Ever since she was a child Dhananjay has faced humiliation and abuse by her own family and society. She is now completely understood and accepted for what she is.
“We used to meet mummy-papa every day before moving in as we wanted them to trust and know us. We have always faced humiliation from our own families and society. When the time was right and things fell into place, we moved in with them. All we needed was love and affection, and that’s exactly what we found. We found acceptance, love, and we are heard; this is our home,” expressed a gratified Chahal carrying her new surname.
About Trans Activist Dhananjay Chauhan
Dhananjay Chauhan Chahal is the first transgender person (under the third gender category) to get admission to a university. She completed her master’s in Human Rights from the University and has had a lot of difficulties from childhood.
Having been assigned the male gender at birth, Chahal (earlier Chauhan) discovered her true self at the age of five. She loved playing with girls and behaved like a girl. She became a victim of sexual abuse from the age of 5-12 years and also faced harassment and bullying from her peers in school and college. Her family tried ‘correcting’ her and also tried black magic to take the ‘evil’ out from her. This led her into depression and this affected her studies.
In 1993 when she was pursuing her MA, a few people attempted to rape her and so she was forced to discontinue her studies and was pushed by her family to get married. However, she pursued LLB the next year but again had to face sexual abuse. She was also bullied by co-workers at the workplace.
This was not all. Chauhan, now Chahal, is a victim of gang rape. But her mettle was strong and unwavering. In 2009, she started an NGO named ‘Saksham Trust’.
She is also the flag bearer of the restroom revolution. After getting admission into the Panjab University in 2015, Chauhan wrote a letter to the VC asking which washroom to use- ‘Male’ or ‘Female’? Having raised this question, the VC replied within a few days mentioning the allocation of Rs. 23 lakh to construct 4 special toilets.
“I was happy with this move. Besides that, to motivate people from the trans community to attend college, I also gave a representation to make education free for transgender in many Universities,” shared 51-year-old Chauhan who has formed an anti-discrimination cell within the university.
“People accepted me because I chose University to complete education and not begging. I feel proud to say that I have given speeches on transgender welfare in many European and Asian countries and have bagged more than 150 awards,” she added.
Besides this, Chauhan wants to make separate washrooms for the trans community in public places and in educational institutions, and also a hostel for transgender and that the mainstream society should accept transgender people and involve them in policymaking.
“People always deem something that is different as wrong. Of course, things will change, but it’ll take decades”, concluded Chauhan.