Ask any man “What your wife does?” And there is a possibility that you will get one silly reply if she is a homemaker. “No, she doesn’t go to work, she is a ‘housewife’”. And this very statement is enough to create all kinds of barriers in our minds and trick us into thinking that being a “housewife” means ‘no work’ because at the end of the day, no matter how much effort you put, how much time you invest while taking care of your family, literally working 365 days without breaks; if you don’t get paid at the end of the day, it is not considered as work.
It is true that what doesn’t break you makes you stronger and this woman from Andhra Pradesh’s Puttaparthi is one such fine example. Life Beyond Numbers got in touch with this “special mother of a special child”, Dr. Shila Dasgupta, who is not just a world record holder but she has also perfected the art of acceptance.
While her father, late Probodh Chandra Chakraborty was a Guard in the railways, her mother, late Umarani Chakraborty was a classical singer, Dasgupta got the best from both of her parents and it is no surprise that apart from being a singer, she gives motivational speeches too. It is because of her mother, that her voice has reached millions of hearts.
How Being A Special Mother Made Her A Better Person
A mother of two, being the mother of a disabled child for 28 years has taught her a lot. “It is sad, that most people in our society have shown me sympathy and not love. What they don’t know is that not a single day goes by when I don’t cherish being a special mother“. On asking about Kaustav, her son, she said, “I feel blessed to have a son like Sai Kaustav.”
Kaustav is suffering from a rare disease called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, which is an extremely rare condition and is also known as Brittle Bone Disease. As a child Sai loved to dance, he was a kathak dancer and perform on stage. When he was diagnosed with this condition, and the doctor advised him that he cannot dance again, his mother chose to teach him singing instead.
“Kaustav identifies himself as a happiness coach and his only purpose is to bring back smile on people’s faces. It is him who taught me how to be patient and for his work is like worship. Even though he is going through excruciating pain inside, he doesn’t let it take away his smile,” said Dasgupta.
Dasgupta also ensures that not sympathy but love rules their home. “My elder son is wheelchair-bound, but it doesn’t feel to us that he is any different from us. We ensure that there is no negative environment and we all stay happy. It is our responsibility to accept our children and we do it will all our love. We had a joint family but because of my child’s condition, I had to shift elsewhere because even the slightest of handshakes could break my son’s bones,” she said.
“I have seen parents who feel embarrassed to take along their differently-abled child while attending marriages or any other informal occasions. I don’t understand if parents themselves cannot accept their children, why do they expect the society to do the same?,” asks Shila.
When people close to you pull you down, it becomes very difficult to move forward. “It is strange how people mock at us. Some of them have even told me ‘why you are so healthy and your son is so thin? Do you eat all his food?’ Insensitive remarks like these make me angry and sad at the same time.”
We need to understand that differently-abled children need more love and not sympathy from their family and society.
How She Became A World Record Holder
“After marriage, people refer to you not by you but as someone’s wife or daughter. I feel a woman’s identity gets lost in all this. It always feels nice to have or achieve something of your own,” she says with a smile.
Dasgupta made a new national and world record by chanting Hanuman Chalisa (spiritual verse) in 1 min 45 seconds only. “I personally believe that spirituality can counter stress and tension and take you in the right direction. I believe meditation helps me to calm my mind and reading Hanuman Chalisa helps me gain a lot of positive energy.”
Through the Art of Spirituality, she also completed her research on stress-free living and also received an honorary doctorate degree from The Diocese of Asia, Chennai. Not just that, she was honored by Honourable Judge N.F.J. Ponnudurai (President Human Rights Vigilance). Apart from that, she is an India Book of Record holder too where she achieved the National Record from New Delhi.
An Acupressurist, a Reflexologist, a Natuaropathist, and a Numerologist, this multi-talented woman is a cook too. It is her grit and determination that has helped her to make impossible things possible.
What You Can Learn From Her
In a time when taking care of self has taken a back seat and earning money has become our priority, Dasgupta asks us to slow down and think about the priorities in our lives. She believes crisis brings opportunity with themselves and one should never lose hope in difficult situations and embrace it with all their hearts.
Her life and works have become a source of inspiration for many girls, mothers, housewives across the world.