These days everyone seems to be jumping on the get-happier bandwagon. There are numerous books, scientific studies, laughter clubs and joyology workshops to induce the spirit of happiness. Why? Because the field of positive psychology has shown that happy people thrive. Have you ever wondered why? Well, they are more creative and productive, earn more money, attract friends, enjoy relationships, stay healthier and even outlive their cautious and grumpier peers.
Health and wellness are very intricately connected to the way we respond to what life has in store for us. Everyone has unhappy moments, but some of us are unable to cope with the stress and shun our lives. During these unhappy moments, the body reflects the distress by secreting the stress-hormone cortisol. And this cortisol has been found to impact the digestive systems and blood pressure levels. If not checked, it can destroy muscle tissues and cause anything from diabetes, hypertension, ulcers, menstrual mayhems to neuron damage. So it is very important for our health that we cultivate the habit of being happy.
Though there are varying opinions on whether happiness can be achieved by behavioral modifications; and if there is any standard upon which happiness can be measured – we believe that happiness actually depends a lot on how you look at life. So, if you are willing to take a chance on the upside of life, and shoot for your bliss – here’s help laying the groundwork.
1. Be 3-D
If there’s one thing that separates happy people from ridiculously happy people, it is the quality of social relationships they enjoy. If you sit with a laptop all day, read WhatsApp messages on bus stops, watch movies on DVD, plug in ear phones when you travel and indulge in virtual chats instead of live conversations – you lose many a chance to talk real, laugh louder and build intimacy with people around you.
2. Be Grateful
Gratitude is the fairest blossom that springs from the soul. Making a list of things we feel grateful about may sound silly, but it actually is thought-provoking. It is not enough to be gifted with numerous reasons to be happy – as long as you don’t realize the significance of your gifts and feel grateful about them. Remember the song we used to sing as children – “Count your blessings name them one by one/ Count your blessings see what God hath done.” In fact, counting your blessings may be the single most helpful thing you can do for your happiness quotient.
3. Create Happiness
A research study shows that happy people enjoy a slower heart rate and lower cortisol levels. Some positive pick-up lines that definitely act as mood swingers can be – “I am happy. I am healthy. I am whole. I am strong. I am powerful. I am peaceful. I am beautiful. I am bountiful. I am youthful. I am lovely. I am harmonious. I am free.” The importance of repeating this to yourself is also acknowledged by Dr Deepak Chopra when he says – “The language we use to refer to ourselves is of tremendous importance. The mind-body system organizes itself around verbal experiences.” This means that we can create a world of happiness and health – just with the help of our words. Now, isn’t that wonderful?
4. Sunny Side Up
Once you learn to create happiness for yourself, fighting the low moments and negativity around you is not that difficult as it seemed earlier. What you need to do is to think of every positive experience that you can remember, and revisit them more often. Collect good moments and weave them together – a surprise call from mom, a mail from a friend, a hug from your child, a pat on the back – anything that made you smile. With your ability to experience joy in everyday happenings, you have now armored yourself with positivity, cheerfulness and loving intentions that will help you spread happiness around.
5. Bond With Nature
Most of us assume that external things like a bigger house, a better job, a winning lottery, a favor from boss, a promotion, an abroad holiday trip – will brighten our lives. The truth is far from it. While these achievements may be reasons for bringing a temporary delight, the thrill invariably fades. Buy a new car, your dream house or get a hard-earned promotion – the excitement does not stay at its peak forever. It soon falls in the trap of habit and anything that becomes routine, is less likely to charm you. What can add value to your happiness and fill your life with meaning is to connect with nature. You can include a daily dose of nature in your life style by taking a stroll in the park, listening to birds’ chirping, watching raindrops from your balcony or looking at the rainbow. Every such sight is bound to fill you with delight, contentment and power to shrug off negative thoughts.
6. Laugh Out Loud
Humor is like salt to meat; it amplifies everything. Regardless of your age, temperament or what you are going through in life, you can feel happy the instant you want to. The sure-shot strategy to boost your spirit is to do something, however small, that is energetic, adventurous, assertive and bold. Laughing out loud is exactly this kind of thing. It has a great positive effect to your body, mind and spirit. Smiling individuals tend to recall more happy moments than those with furled brows or neutral expressions. So, next time you watch a comedy show, laugh hilariously, play harmless pranks, giggle at silly jokes and learn to enjoy the absurdities of life.
7. Find Your Inner Artist
Think back to when you had time for creative expression. Were you in a rock band? Did you like to write poetry? Did you like to paint on walls? We all have something or the other that interests us and often due to lack of drive, time or realization of what pleases us most – we let it go. It is important that we pursue our passion and allow our creativity to bring a feeling of fulfillment within us.
8. Keep It Simple, Stupid
The KISS principle works best for many people. If you are happy, show it. But if you are not, why pretend. Express yourself. Simplicity should be the goal and unnecessary complications often take you further away from the essential ingredient of life – being happy. So, if you are going through a rough patch, don’t feel bad about feeling bad. When someone is in pain over the loss of a job, end of a relationship, death of an acquaintance or accident of a friend – telling them to fake happiness and be optimistic about things, makes it all the worse for them – making them feel incompetent of handling situations. Instead of asking them to look at the brighter side, giving them freedom to complain, quarrel or cry – can be cathartic. The path to contentment depends on finding the coping strategy that suits you best, even if that means expressing anger or sadness along the way.
9. Fake It Till You Make It
Fake it till you make it – for when you make it, you don’t have to fake it. We all have our portion of insecurities. The point is to hide your fears and fake confidence. Chances are that it will work. Research says that confidence has a greater role on our performance than the actual talent. Even therapists use it all the time for patients suffering from depression. So, smile, sing and act as if everything is okay – it’s okay to pretend sometimes. Once you learn the art of faking it – the mind can be tricked to perform better, the heart can be inspired to make it work and the result can be pushed closer to success.
10. Seize The Moment
Rather than waiting to celebrate a big event, why not do it today? Our life is made of numerous moments – and it is futile to waste one in the pursuit of the other. Bake a cake if you want to, go on a ride if the weather is pleasant; take someone for lunch if you feel like. Buy pink nail polish, climb that hill, make love in the afternoon, smile at strangers. Raise a toast to friendship. Celebrate happiness!
What are your ways to flip that frown upside down? Do share with me in the comments below.
Source – The Way to Happiness/Dianne Hales/Reader’s Digest/March 2008.