Every woman deals with this phase called ‘Menopause.’ It marks the end of their menstrual cycles. For some, this phase is more effortless and extremely tough for some. Here’s a true story of a couple who shares the real struggle of this phase and the best way to deal with it.
Mr. Amrish Patel and Mrs. Harshida Patel from Ahmedabad shared their journey and important insights with LifeBeyondNumbers.
“My premenopausal stage began in 2017 with lots of mood swings, insomnia, and heavy flow during my periods. It made me extremely furious, angry, and anxious at times. In those days, I was extremely sensitive and felt like crying every now and then during my periods. It was hard for me to carry out the daily routine normally and I would burst into anger for extremely small reasons. I had this expectation that everybody will understand what I was going through and help me.”
A woman plays many roles – a mother, a wife, a professional, a daughter-in-law, and many more. This phase brings along a lot of instability in mental and emotional aspects. Executing the daily routine feels like a struggle.
Mrs. Harshida Patel shared that expressing what you are going through and asking for help is the best way to make this phase easier for everybody around you and yourself.
Simply expecting others to understand what you are going through can lead to chaos and confusion, and it does nothing but makes the relations more bitter and increase the frictions. Initially, Mrs. Patel couldn’t understand this, but later she did and started expressing herself to ask for help.
Also, read: Every Month, This Pad Couple Distributes Underwear And Sanitary Pads To 10,000+ Needy Children
Husband’s perspective – Dealing with transition and menopause
A married woman is closest to their life partner, and the one person who can help her through this phase is her husband. On asking about how this phase impacted Mr. Amrish Patel, he shared,
“I understood that menopause had resulted in a lot of hormonal changes in Harshida’s body. It brought a lot of mental and emotional difficulties for her along with physical pain. Sometimes it became hard for me to understand how can I help her. However, I always made sure that whenever she got angry or burst out with her frustration, I never reacted to it. I would remain silent and let her release whatever she had within. After a few hours or maybe a day or two, we would sit and talk about it when she was calm.”
Patience is the key when dealing with your wife or any other female member while they are going through this phase. Mr. Amrish sets a clear example of how a husband or any male member can hold space during this phase. He is a working husband and has been involved with his job since the beginning of their marriage.
Being a working professional with less involvement in household work, Mr. Amrish was not into the habit of doing it. However, this was a support that Mrs. Harshida was also looking for during this phase. She would initially ask for help and get disappointed at times as Mr. Amrish would take time to get things done or might forget sometimes. However, she understood that it was not in his habit and gave him the needed time to cope with this change.
Now she feels that he has fully understood the support that she needs and voluntarily offers to help with the housework, whenever possible.
It’s all about taking a pause
The initial phase was filled with a bit of friction between Mr. & Mrs. Patel. However, they managed to sail through it, and now they have understood each other better through this phase. Mrs. Patel shares that,
“I feel a couple should gather more knowledge about this phase beforehand, which we failed to do so. Activities like Yoga, Meditation, and Reading can extremely help in calming one down. Reading has helped me at a time and I also tried doing yoga. This is a phase of life for which you need to be aware and be prepared beforehand.”
Eating healthy food is another crucial aspect that no one should ignore during menopause. A diet filled with fruits, leafy vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and dairy is needed to keep one healthy. Mrs. Patel was particular to see a gynecologist in case of any irregularities or abnormalities, and her continuous consultation had always helped her during this phase.
Also, read: Periods – Should You Exercise In And Around That Time Of The Month
The guide to a peaceful pause during menopause
The struggle during this phase is real for almost every couple and needs some homework to be done. Let’s have a look at some of the best take-aways for a couple from Mr. & Mrs. Patel’s story –
- Always know beforehand about what you can/might experience
- Patience from both the sides is the key
- Expression over expectation always helps
- It’s JUST a phase, do not take things spoken personally by your WIFE 🙂
- Choose a practice that calms you down and begin with it before menopause hits you!
- Always stay in touch with a Gynecologist who can guide you
Menopause is a beautiful transition in a women’s life that takes her from one phase to another. Instead of considering it a disease or a problem, you can pause to reflect on the life you lived and set your intention for the coming years.