No, not because the world is full of rapists or lawbreakers but because you are a single independent working woman who stays with her Indian parents.
Since the evolution of humankind, well, let’s just not go that deep into the history? Since the start of the 21st century, the Indian society went into a whole lot of transformation and not just on the economic and political front but also on the social front. But it is our parents who haven’t changed.
According to statistical data, in India, about 27% of the workforce comprises of women. Further study suggests that about 70 percent of unmarried working woman stay with their parents. Kidding. There are no statistics out there, but I can say with great conviction that almost all of you reading this believed what I just wrote here.
While we don’t have to face problems like “Who asked you to talk? Don’t speak so loudly. Don’t laugh so loudly. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Sit like a girl. Dress like a girl. Behave like a girl,” we certainly have other grave issues like explaining parents why we got late, who was the male friend who came to drop us home, who do we talk to late in the night, what sort of an important meeting made us get late from work, being dragged to wedding functions so we can meet some people we have never heard of, asking permissions to travel and dealing with a really fucked up logic which says you can’t talk to stranger but marry them.
I would just term this as ‘Problems of a first world household in a third world country’. Who do we blame? Our parents, or the society? This is a deep-seated question. We spend all of our lives trying to love and accept the culture of our parents while simultaneously assimilating what the changing world around us has to offer. We not only imbibe our parent’s curry-eating, oil-scrubbing culture but also accept the societal norms they try to impose on us.
Then why the ‘10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’?
From where did the ‘10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’ come? Has it been going around since the Precambrian Era?
Did it stem from the fact that we decided to exploit our shitty cultural identities as a disposable fashion or the fact that misogynist, alpha males, patriarchs, sexists, rapists, opportunists, molesters, and mansplainers are not just terms in the dictionary but living, breathing men?
Our parents might have acknowledged western influences in our otherwise deeply rich culture but what they fail to see are the changing paragons of society with time. And again who is to blame?
Do our parents need a new perspective or is it only the fault of the society?
‘10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’ comes from the heinous act of raping a 10-year-old that makes headlines the other day. ‘10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’ comes from the news of a woman molested and robbed late at night by an Uber driver she had trusted upon to drop her home. ‘10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’ comes from the news of a female employee who was made inappropriate advances by her boss when she was working late.
Chattisgarh state women chief Vibha Rao stated that women who display their bodies and indulge in various obscene activities are equally responsible for rape. Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav, in an interview, opposed the new anti-rape law saying handing death sentence for rape is unfair and boys will be boys, they make mistakes. When asked about increased incidences of rapes in India MLA Abu Azmi quoted “Women should not venture out with men who are not relatives. What is the need for roaming at night with men who are not relatives? This should be stopped.”
Mamta Banerjee in an interview quoted that rape cases are a result of free interactions between men and women. ‘10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’ originates from all these crude and ridiculous remarks from the politicians. It comes from the government and media glorifying rape. Indian parents might be an ideal topic to joke on with thousands of other people backing us up on this and finding even trivial things Indian parents say funny but what we really need is a deeper understanding of what leads them to bash the modern concepts of freedom. What our generation finds appalling are not ideas of cultural appropriation by our parents but their concern which is often mistaken as an invasion.
This leaves us with a big question. Who is to blame? Parents, politicians, government or the society?
Whoever takes the blame,‘Suno… 10 baje se pehle ghar aa jana’ !!!