Stammering is a state with significant problems in the normal flow of speech and fluency. We all might have encountered at least one person in our lives experiencing this. In movies, characters with stammering issues are often mocked and ridiculed. People who stammer are looked upon with a specific perception and mindset and are either generally teased or made an object of laughter by many people.
Jay Pathak, amidst all the challenges, stood up and decided to transform this weakness into his strength. So, did he change all those people on the outside?
Nope, he didn’t. However, what he did is worthy of mention. So here we are today, sharing the brave story of an individual who went against the odds and found his strength.
On sharing his journey, Jay said,
“As soon as I grew up and went to school, I came to know that the situation I was suffering from was known as ‘stammering’. Days passed and I began to have lots of questions in my mind because of the experiences that came forward due to stammering. Questions like, “Why did this happen to me?” “If whatever happens is for good, then where is the good in this?” The phase during my school felt like hell when it became hard for me even to express myself fully.”
It is normal to have questions in school while we are studying; however, the hesitation did not allow him to ask questions in the classroom and share his answers, even if he knew them. Life stood still for Jay during his school days.
Family Support and transformation
Jay’s family was always by his side, supporting him no matter what. They tried many healing techniques to give Jay the ‘normal life’ he longed for, including acupressure, reiki, homeopathy, Ayurveda, and allopathy, and nothing seemed to work. At that point, Jay realized that the suffering was primarily psychological.
What helped Jay to find a newer version of himself?
Reading
The life he was longing for was right there, and he was looking for it everywhere else. This brought a new ray of hope as he decided to work on this aspect by himself. His sister studied psychology, which was one of the main reasons he came to know about this aspect. Jay’s regular reading habit brought him close to psychology, and he read psychology books from which her sister studied.
Besides that, he also used to read for 12-13 hours per day regularly other than studies, whenever he had free time. It has helped him in connecting with himself over the years.
Also, read: This Teacher Started A Free Self-Help Library With Her Own Funds To Promote The Habit Of Reading
K.T. Shah Sir
Fast forward to 3-4 years when he met a psychology professor through one of his relative’s references. They used to spend time together at their convenience, and Jay used to share his questions from school with him. The professor always used to share, “Bigger the struggle, better the success.”
He not only taught Jay how to accept his struggles but also inspired him always to compare his newer self and older self. He paved the path for growth by teaching him to drop the outer comparisons and work on himself exclusively. These teachings shifted his personality from the core.
Vipassana
During his college days, one of his friends during his college days told him about this meditation practice of Vipassana, wherein the participants had to stay silent for ten days. Being an introvert, silence attracted Jay, and he soon decided to go after his final exams.
Here’s what Jay has to say about the Vipassana experience,
“I never went there with an intention to meditate but was happy to be quiet for 10 days. After returning, I brought back my peace. Vipassana gave me the space to be with myself and accept what was going on inside me with equanimity. I stopped taking everything personally and just witnessed what happened around me.”
The strength
On being asked about the main event that brought a shift in his perception and thinking towards stammering, Jay shares,
“The shift happened in phases and I would like to divide the whole shift into 3 main parts. reading, meeting a psychology professor & going for vipassana. Each of these events in my life has summed up making me a more confident person even with stammering. It has led me to believe that “stammering is just a part of my life & not my whole life”. It is not bigger than me, my existence is more powerful than such a small issue in my life.”
These three were the learning curve of his life, and the last and the most crucial aspect was the Awakening Circles events. This is an event conducted in Ahmedabad every week that holds space for personal sharing on specific topics. Regularly attending the circle made him comfortable communicating with strangers and opening up about his opinions and feelings.
Jay left his first corporate job due to inhuman behavior from his colleagues. And now, he runs his own IT company successfully. It is said that if you believe in yourself, things work in your favor too. We are proud to have met such an individual who has overcome his inner obstacles and achieved a satisfying life.
“I used to stammer and I still stammer when I talk, but now I don’t give it the power to affect me like I used to earlier,” Jay says with a smile.