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If you are 28 and still single and don’t have marriage as your first priority, you are guilty of giving sleepless nights to a lot of people. Uncles and aunts you haven’t seen since you hit puberty are out of breath chasing you just so that you would settle down while you still get the monthlies.

Not to forget the well-wishers closer home – parents and neighbors who dare not confront you directly, but would love to see you get hitched this upcoming wedding season.

single-and-happy

Much to everyone’s plight, you are that eccentric creature for whom tying the knot is not as important as say, a rewarding career, a trip to Ireland, or an impromptu visit to a friend at the other end of the world. You are not thinking about getting hitched. Not now. Which by default means you are setting yourself up to grow into a lonely old maid with no grand-children.

As a 28-year-old who refuses to see the bliss in holy matrimony, I wonder at times how my marriage would secure my future. For that matter, it is already quite secured from whatever little I have achieved so far. I am independent, professionally sound; I would pat my back for having a mind of my own, a thought process which is independent of conventional notions. What more can you want for yourself?

“But that’s where you go wrong!” I am told. Apparently, every girl needs a husband, rather a Demi-God who will protect her from the evils that plague modern society.

I should find somebody with a fat job and even a fatter salary and sit and cook and produce babies. Or probably take cooking lessons to learn how to make chapattis – mind you that is round!

But what if, I love my Atlas-shaped chapattis?

What if I want to find my own niche and not be described as so-n-so’s spouse. I have dreams to fulfill and what is the harm if I want to do all that I can before I share my life with someone.

Reject A Guy, May I Please?

My parents recently forwarded me a prospective groom. I didn’t like a few things and so conveyed to my family that this won’t work out for me. I didn’t think we shared the same beliefs or for that matter, I found nothing in common. He was not the one. Without throwing a fuss, my parents conveyed the message further to the gentleman’s parents.

That’s when the house of cards collapsed.

Surprisingly, it is still not considered appropriate if a girl rejects somebody. Had he rejected me, it was all OK, but since I was the one who took the call (about my life), there were frantic calls, from lands far and near regarding how I should not say no to a guy.

Much to my relief, my parents were bold enough to say, “It’s her life, she will decide what the best is for her and we would support her.”

But, it’s hard for people and community to get this. I am sure all of us, at some point in our lives, have faced this. In modern India, people still haven’t learned to mind their own business.

Apparently, society will take another few decades to understand that it is OK for a girl to be 28 and single. If I were to marry, I would go for somebody who I believe to be special.

Moreover, it is fine if I never end up marrying as long as I am happy about it. There are things beyond marriage.

As Anais Nin rightly said, “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

Till then, leave me alone to experience life the way I want!

Would she fly

Because she chose to

Or would she fly

Because they loved

To see her in the sky.

But her feet

Were always chained

Back then

And now.

– Swati –