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Amidst the heroic glory of the Khans in Bollywood, the ‘Khan’ who silently swerved his way into becoming an everyday ‘hero’ is Irrfan Khan. With a 30-year long career, the 53-year-old Khan has mesmerized both the Indian and the world cinema with more than 70 movies to his credit. “Effortlessly bridged the two cultures,” says Danny Boyle who directed Irfan in the award-winning movie  Slumdog Millionaire.

To add to the miseries of the continuing lockdown for many, Indian cinema lovers lost one of its preciouses to a two-year-long fight against cancer on April 29 in Mumbai. One does not know what awaits us beyond death but the coincidence of Irrfan’s mother passing away four days prior to his demise is striking enough to fathom easily. Irrfan’s last words were “Amma mujhe lene aayi hain (my mother has come to take me)”.

irrfan khan

A life of struggle

Even for an actor of his stature, life and career were hardly a cakewalk. Born into a Muslim Pashtun family hailing from Jaipur, Rajasthan, Irrfan’s father was into tire business while his mother was a homemaker. Despite his passion for cricket and an opportunity of playing the prestigious CK Nayudu Trophy, he had to withdraw himself due to a lack of viable funds. CK Nayudu Trophy is an under-23 domestic cricket tournament considered to be the gateway to the Indian cricket scenes at the national level.

In 1984, he gets through the National School of Drama (NSD), Delhi, for attaining the masters in acting on scholarship. Irrfan Khan was the only actor to have been picked for Mira Nair’s 1988 Salaam Bombay from his batch for a short-role at the beginning of his career. But unfortunately, he barely made it to the final cut of the film. Nair mentioned how she was enticed by “his very remarkable look, his hooded eyes” and booked him for a role. But his well-built body was not ultimately suitable in telling the story on the street kids of Mumbai.

During his early days of struggle for work in Mumbai, he also worked as an air conditioner repairman and happened to have met the veteran actor Rajesh Khanna. Irrfan’s tribute to his acting inspiration Khanna reads “I’d say stardom is that feeling of being possessed by your idol; you are so overwhelmed with euphoria you lose touch with reality.” In life as much as it is in death, Irrfan remains to be the glowing example of patience and perseverance.

The ‘Coolest guy’ for Tom Hanks

The perception and appreciation of co-actors are significant when it comes to validating the craft of an artist.

irrfan khan
image source: Film Companion, YouTube

Irrfan’s Inferno co-actor Tom Hanks’s comment during the promotion of the film reminds us of the remarkably charming personality behind Khan’s crafts: “Here’s what I hate about Irrfan Khan… I always think I’m the coolest guy in the room, and everybody’s hanging on to every word I say and everybody’s a little intimidated to be in my presence. And then Irrfan Khan walks into the room. And he’s the coolest guy in the room.”

A humble artist

The modesty of the actor can barely be gauged when Irrfan showered his words of appreciation for the author Shamsur Rahman Farroqi’s book Kai Chand the Sar e Aasman.

He says in his email: I read your book recently and was mesmerized …your magical narrative, the intimate insight of the inner and outer world of the shining and declining era leaves me speechless …the elegance, grace, pathos, beauty, romance, obsession, seduction, enigma, illusion, the cruel reality of Time…the beauty of eternity n oneness…since I have read the book, it refuses to get out of my system..”.

On the ending note of the email, he describes himself as “ek adna sa actor” (a plebeian in acting) which itself speaks at length for his humility. From appreciating literature to recreating hilarious memes palatable to the internet-savvy millennials in collaboration with AIB during the promotions of Khan’s 2017-film Hindi Medium, Irrfan was equally respectful towards varying genres of art.

His last messages to the world

Irrfan wrote an open letter that was published in the Times of India while battling neuroendocrine cancer in 2018. His life philosophies resonated with nothing short of a mantra to deal with the universal pain of shock, uncertainty, and despair.

He metaphorically puts his situation as “just a cork floating in the ocean with unpredictable currents” that one desperately tries to control. He adds further: “In this chaos, shocked, afraid and in panic, while on one of the terrifying hospital visits, I blabber to my son, ‘The only thing I expect from ME is not to face this crisis in this present state. I desperately need my feet. Fear and panic should not overrule me and make me miserable’”.

Accepting the uncertainty of fate, he writes with a heavy yet brave heart, “The only thing certain was the uncertainty. All I could do was to realize my strength and play my game better. This realization made me submit, surrender, and trust, irrespective of the outcome, irrespective of where this takes me…The concerns took a back seat and started to fade and kind of went out of my mind space.”

It was the real taste of ‘freedom’ in the truest sense of the term: “It felt like an accomplishment. As if I was tasting life for the first time, the magical side of it. My confidence in the intelligence of the cosmos became absolute. I feel as if it has entered every cell of mine.” Even perhaps during one of the worst times of his life, he did not shy away from expressing gratitude towards his well-wishers: “Each flower, each twig, each leaf which has come from the cumulative prayers, each fills me with wonder, happiness, and curiosity. A realization that the cork doesn’t need to control the current. That you are being gently rocked in the cradle of nature.”

In his last audio message to the world during the trailer release of his last film Angrezi Medium, he humorously presents life with the pinch of a chuckle. He says in it: “An English proverb says when life gives you a lemon, make a lemonade. It is easier said than done. When life really gives you a lemon, it is indeed difficult to turn it into lemonade. But, well…do we have another option but to stay positive during the difficult times? Whether you are really going to make lemonade out of it, is completely up to you”.

His wife, Sutapa Sikdar, in her last tribute to him, took to social media to say: “There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learned to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet”. Reverberating Khan’s indomitable spirit and positivity, one only hopes that rhythm of life to continue despite all odds and in the face of extreme uncertainties.

Echoing one of his most shared dialogues from the 2012-film Life of Pi, no preparedness, and the “act of letting go” seemed enough in the face of being hurt the most is “not taking a moment to say goodbye”. Dear Irrfan Khan, you have left your imprint on global cinema. You will remain an inspiration to millions and will be greatly missed.

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